Well-being

In short: you don’t feel as comfortable as you would like. There’s something else. You can’t grasp it. Maybe it keeps you running, you can’t let go, you can’t relax.

Or your health becomes noticeable and you feel something is wrong. You could actually sit back, relax and enjoy your life. Enjoy what you have built up.

But it doesn’t work and you don’t really know why. The right place is missing, or the right partner or … yes, what is it? The sense of well-being is missing.

If you already have everything, but …

Don’t worry, the solution is not to donate all your money and live in poverty. Money alone may not make you happy, but not having any usually makes you unhappy.

No, that’s not a solution, please keep your wealth, you’ve probably worked hard for it.

The problem lies somewhere else entirely and it is precisely those people who have their lives very well under control and are very successful who only realize late on when something is wrong somewhere. If you are on your way to the top, you have enough energy to simply gloss over minor inconsistencies.

There’s always something to do. Building a business, investing, sport, hobbies, family and, when everything is going well, the many leisure activities. Everything without limits, because there is always enough matter.

Then at some point …

But there comes a point when you realize that something is missing. Perhaps because you find it difficult to retire from active business life, or because you can’t let go of your now grown-up children. Perhaps there are also more and more arguments in your private life or you feel driven. Can’t really relax.

Or because you suddenly feel a touch of depression. You realize something is wrong. But what? Where to start? Can’t everything have been wrong?

Quite the opposite

But perhaps you have overlooked a small cog somewhere along the way. A part of you that you did not bring into life.

Perhaps the lack of this element has even helped you to be successful. Some people are so successful because they are virtually running away from a deep emotional injury or deficiency.

This often brings very good results, but only as long as you keep running.

An example of this

Let’s call him Peter. Peter is 68 years old and a classic entrepreneur. A medium-sized company, a few dozen employees and the company built up from nothing. Always working hard, many hours a day.

The first one in the morning and the last one in the evening. Always there for everyone, always delivered good work and put the company first.

It paid off, the business is in great health and now he has sold it for really good money. He’s done everything right, the sailing boat is already waiting, he’ll have time now.

But he can’t rest. Quite the opposite. The worst stress at the company was not as grueling as what he is going through now in “retirement”. The whole world seems to have conspired, he can’t get a break.

He’s already been through doctors and psychologists, he could run up and down the walls. What’s wrong with him?

The process leads to his childhood. To him and to his father. Who never really saw him because he was preoccupied with himself. Peter always tried to be seen. To catch the father’s eye. But it didn’t work because the father couldn’t. He got everything he needed, his childhood wasn’t bad. Only he was not seen. Didn’t notice at the time.

So what did Peter do unconsciously? He started working like crazy, always trying to be the best and build something, because his father has to see him at some point. At some point! The pattern was of course unconscious and it helped to ensure that he never let up and made the company really big.

Until “retirement”. This unconscious pattern suddenly came to nothing and almost plunged him into depression. Until we found it and solved it.

And this example is not an isolated case. Not at all.

At some point

At some point, you will reach the point where you have to face up to the part that seems to be missing. Or the one that somehow seems to be too much. Otherwise he will start to torment you.

There’s no shame in that, why should there be? You’ve also constantly sought help on your way to the top. Then you can do the same when you’re at the top. So that you can stay on top and enjoy it.

So let’s go together to find out which part is not where it should be and let’s work on it. It can’t be any harder than your way up, it’s definitely worth it. As always, I’ll start with my point of entry and then we’ll see what needs to be done and how to do it.