Overweight? Losing weight? What’s really behind it
Diets, recipes, tables, plans … a billion-dollar industry by now.
In fact, being overweight is not a nutritional problem at all, but a silent/unconscious cry for security. One that arises completely unconsciously on a mental and emotional level and manifests itself in matter. Through too much matter.
If you want to solve this, you will have to tackle the cause, not the symptom.
Many people who are struggling with their weight believe they just need to pull themselves together. More discipline, better nutrition, a stronger will, then it would work. Another diet, buy a bike, get over it a bit, maybe book some coaching …
But deep down, they sense: “Something is wrong. It’s about something more.”
It’s about more
n my shamanic work, I repeatedly encounter people who have struggled for decades. With programs, prohibitions, control strategies. And yet nothing has changed permanently.
On the contrary: the inner pressure became greater, the self-hatred louder, the hope smaller. What you may not know is that your body is not trying to sabotage you. It is trying to protect you.
Not a sign of excess
Being overweight is not a sign of excess, but of vulnerability.
When the body puts on weight, even though we actually know what would be “right”, it shows us something that we don’t want to see: An inner need that has never been considered. Or one that has been ignored. It doesn’t even have to be your own distress.
Is the child crying? Put food in, then it’s quiet …
Perhaps there was no real security in your childhood. Maybe there was emotional coldness, constant pressure or the feeling of not really being welcome. Maybe you learned that you are only loved when you function. Or if you are as inconspicuous as possible.
All of this leaves its mark. Not just in your behavior, but deep in your nervous system, in your body structure, in the way you feel. And it is inherited, perhaps this insecurity is not even yours. What if it’s your parents’, or your grandparents’ or great-grandparents’?
At some point, the body finds a way to deal with this. It eats. It stores. It cushions. It protects.
The hunger
Hunger does not come from the stomach, but from the soul. Many people believe they are “emotional eaters”. But in truth, they are people with a deep, old deficiency that has never been seen.
A lack of support. A loving presence. Of honest affection. A hunger for recognition. For belonging. For “I’m okay the way I am.”
If this mental hunger is not satisfied, the body looks for a substitute. It reaches for what is available: Food. Not because it tastes good, but because it soothes. Because it briefly relaxes the nervous system. Because it gives you the feeling, at least for a moment: “I exist. I am allowed to be here.” … “I AM here”.
But then often comes the shame. The guilty conscience. The self-condemnation. “I didn’t make it again”. And that makes the inner lack even greater.
Discipline does not help
Discipline does not help if the problem lies deeper. Most anti-obesity programs are based on control. They rely on rules, calories, bans and training plans.
But control does not heal wounds. On the contrary, it only reinforces the feeling: “I’m wrong. I need to be in control of myself. I’m not okay the way I am.”
And this is the true core: many overweight people carry an old, silent message inside them: “I’m not okay”. They try to change, not out of love, but out of rejection.
But change that comes from rejection never leads to peace. It leads to new struggles. To new disappointments. And often to even more weight.
The body is not an opponent
The body is not an opponent, it is the wisest witness to our history. What if your body is not working against you? What if it is not sabotaging you, but wants to show you something?
In my work, I see time and again that the body remembers everything that the mind has forgotten.
The moments when you were alone. The tears you suppressed. The anger that was never allowed to come out. The conforming, the silence, the withdrawal, all for fear of no longer being loved.
These experiences are stored in the body. Not as a conscious memory, but as tension. As holding on. As armor. And sometimes: as weight.
Obesity as an expression
Being overweight is the expression of a silent longing for security. If you keep putting on weight even though you’re “doing everything right”, then perhaps it’s not about food. It’s about something deeper.
The desire to finally let go. Not in the sense of losing control, but in the sense of: “I no longer have to protect myself. I can feel safe.”
This security cannot be achieved through diets. It can only be achieved by turning inwards. By meeting the part of you that has felt alone for so long. The part that used food as comfort because there was no one else around. The part that needs the weight in order not to go under.
When this part is seen, with compassion instead of judgment, something starts to move. Very slowly. Very quietly. And very real. And then you can make peace with the struggle and the vulnerability. Wherever it originally came from.
Not in the fridge
What really fills you up is not in the fridge. You don’t need a new diet. You don’t need a better willpower either. You need connection. To yourself. To your true feelings. To your story. And to what was really missing.
You don’t get full through control, but through contact. With your body. With your soul. With your own inner truth.
In my shamanic work, I accompany people to this point. Not to take something from them. But to connect them with the part of themselves that has never really been satisfied and that still has to carry too much today for this very reason.
If you feel that your weight is telling you a story that you haven’t heard before, then you are not alone. And maybe now is the time to hear that story. Not to control it. But to give it peace.
You are not wrong
You may just have been fed in the wrong place. But it’s never too late to feed yourself in the right place. When you’re ready, write to me. I can’t take your path away from you, but I can accompany you: mail@gerhard-zirkel.com
