The way you make decisions

Head person versus emotional person

Namely the differences between so-called head people and emotional people.

First of all: What I write below is not intended to be an assessment of who is better or worse. Both are equally good and both have their justification. My aim is to find a solution to the dilemma that the two don’t really seem to go together.

Because they make their decisions in different ways. Because they seem to approach life’s challenges so completely differently.

The head person

Makes a decision on the basis of information he has researched. It compares prices, aspects, qualities, sizes and availability. He makes pro and con lists, Excel tables and comparisons.

He reads reviews, tests extensively and keeps an eye on the finances. He has an analytical and rational explanation for everything he does. If you ask him why he is doing something, he will be able to tell you exactly why.

He can tell you why he bought what he bought. He can calculate, analyze and think everything through before he acts. He is a big fan of studies, statistics and provable facts.

The emotional person

Makes his decisions “from the gut”. If he wants to buy something, he feels whether it is good for him and then he does it. If you ask him why, this question will alienate him. He won’t understand why you’re asking him that and if he does, he’ll tell you that he just wanted the thing.

He is not interested in reviews from other people or references because he can’t do anything with them. He doesn’t plan his future because he knows that he only needs to follow the energy. He trusts the universe and himself and goes his own way, wherever that may lead him.

He sometimes knows things without being able to explain why and how.

Basically

As stated at the beginning, this is not a judgment. There are these two types of behavior patterns and both have their justification. Neither is better or worse than the other, even if there are sometimes misunderstandings and even arguments between people of the two patterns.

Especially in relationships, both private and professional, it can be difficult if one person is more of a head person and the other an emotional person.

Emotional people often describe head people as hard and unfair or as unconscious or even destructive. And emotional people are often portrayed as effeminate fools because they are once again unable to explain why they do what they do.

An example

Many, many years ago, I saw an example in a TV documentary that clicked with me and that I still remember today. It was one of those supposedly real documentaries about a couple who wanted to buy a property.

Whether the plot was real or fake, the problem was that he selected houses according to location, number of rooms, furnishings, technology, condition, financing options and so on. A head person through and through, with precise ideas of what is needed and how the house must be designed in order to be able to realize future family planning.

He certainly did a very good job, but during the viewing his wife repeatedly said: “I don’t feel comfortable here”. That almost drove him out of his mind. He kept asking her why she didn’t feel well, what the reason was and what could be done. She must be able to justify this, he said, sounding somewhat helpless.

He really went out of his way to get the perfect house for them. He really wanted to know what needed to be different. But she couldn’t tell him that. Not that he understood it.

Because whether an emotional person feels good or not cannot be broken down into arguments. He feels comfortable or not. The only thing that helps is to keep looking until it fits. She didn’t understand why he got angry at some point. And he didn’t understand what he was doing “wrong”.

They were obviously unaware of the difference in their approaches.

Another example

This time from my business environment. There are a lot of colleagues who collect heaps of references from their clients on their websites. And which show a lot of facts, publish statements from customers and also success stories.

Because they are the kind of people who form an opinion based on references, facts, evaluations and analyses. They assume that their customers do the same and act accordingly.

Then there are the others, including myself. I don’t give a damn about ratings and references. Or to announcements and promises. When I hire someone for something, I feel them out and then I know whether they are good for me or not. And most of my clients feel the same way.

Both approaches work and both are good. If you know who you are.

The problem

And this is often precisely where the problem lies. We are sometimes not aware that this difference exists and how to deal with it. Quite often, we don’t even know exactly what type we are.

Because, of course, the boundaries are fluid. An emotional person can also process arguments and make rational decisions and, of course, a head person can also tell whether they feel good or not. A sentimentalist can also come because of a recommendation or because he has read a reference.

But often enough, these boundaries are blurred or shifted by our social conditioning. Unfortunately, it often happens to emotional people that they are forced to use “hard” arguments in kindergarten and school instead of relying on their feelings.

You often see this with children. “I don’t like going there”. “But why don’t you want to go there?”. “I don’t know, I don’t like going there”. “But you must be able to tell me why. It’s nice there” … and at some point the child gives up. At some point it suppresses its feelings and if it doesn’t find hard arguments instead, it gives up its own will. A head child will find arguments, an emotional child dies inside.

And then at some point you grow up and you keep the pattern. Either you do what you’re told even though your gut is screaming the opposite. Or you follow your feelings, but invest an incredible amount of energy in seemingly justifying them with facts. Because you no longer have the courage to stand by your feelings, you argue until you are understood. Or maybe not.

It’s not that rare, ask a man who drives a luxury car why he drives this car. Very few people will directly say that they think it’s cool because it feels good. Most will say something about mass, crumple zone and safety, with value stability, load volume, leasing rates and so on.

Even those who are actually emotional people. Sure, all important arguments, but they generally bought the car because it’s cool. They just don’t admit it.

So what to do?

It is very important that you know who you are! Yes, exactly, so banal. But it’s not that trivial, because our true nature has been superimposed since birth and even much longer through our ancestral line. There are many layers of learned patterns on top. They all have to be processed so that you can find yourself.

But that has its advantages. Because if you know who you are, you can act consciously and of your own accord. If you are an emotional person, you can always disguise your feelings with arguments if necessary. But then you do it consciously and not unconsciously.

And as a head person, you can also feel or follow your partner’s feelings without immediately losing control of your life. You can then combine the two and do so consciously!

If the couple from the example above had known who they were, there would have been no argument. They both could have combined his analytical skills with her feelings without getting angry at their mutual lack of understanding.

Especially in business, it is extremely important to know yourself and also to know that other people may approach things differently. This is particularly important for entrepreneurs and managers. But also for employees.

Just because an employee cannot explain his actions with facts does not necessarily mean that his decisions are wrong. Perhaps he just meets them differently than expected. You can use this and you can even combine head and emotional people in a targeted way.

But when people deny themselves because they don’t know who they are or don’t dare to be who they are, an incredible amount of energy is lost.

How I can help

A lot of my work is about helping people to find out who they are. To show people ways to dissolve all these overlays caused by conditioning, ancestral influences, etc.

You will be amazed at how much life energy you suddenly have, how much you can suddenly achieve when this fight against yourself and the rest of the world is no longer necessary. When you can suddenly stand up for yourself and your truth in a completely relaxed way.

Don’t wait any longer, tackle the issue. We always start with an introductory session, after which we see what your path could look like and then we walk it together.

PS: What I don’t mean

The type of person I definitely don’t mean by “emotional person” here – and this is important, as it often leads to major misunderstandings – is the type of “professional victim” who feels that half the world has hurt his feelings and cheated him out of his life because everyone is so cruel and evil. Because the partner is such a narcissist and the boss is such a capitalist, and no one is kind to animals …

THESE are people who find themselves in the role of victim. Incidentally, there are also head people who like to get involved in political discussions at the regulars’ table. There are also ways out, but I would be happy to write a separate article on this.