Who's about to blow up?
Who of you still knows it? The “HB-Männchen”? Admittedly, it’s been a long time since a cigarette brand was able to make such an advertisement on television.
For those who don’t know, the HB-Männchen was a cartoon character who advertised the German HB cigarette brand from 1957 to 1984.
The trademark of the HB-Männchen was that he “blew up” at every opportunity, i.e. he got so excited that he flew away. The solution in the commercial was always to smoke an HB cigarette … The interested reader can find almost all the old commercials on youtube.
Well, I don’t want to recommend the solution with cigarettes at this point. But the principle is interesting.
This “HB-Männchen” is quite common and if you are honest with yourself, you have to admit that you are one too.
Someone says something, or does something, or is simply present, and immediately we are at 180.
In private, we usually avoid such people and surround ourselves with people who are “on the same wavelength”. This works well, apart from the immediate family.
The latter, on the other hand, is often a real challenge because you can’t avoid it. Sometimes it’s enough just to see “Mum” or “Dad” on the phone display and we’re completely different people.
Fall into patterns of defiance or anger and seemingly have no chance to change that. Our closest relatives in particular always find the right buttons to push that plunge us into helpless rage.
Such situations sometimes last for decades and not even the death of the respective relative brings the solution.
At work or in business
But what about at work or as an entrepreneur? Here, too, we seldom decide who we work with. A team is put in front of us and we have to work with them. Objectively and efficiently.
Or we have to get along with our customers, and with everyone if possible.
We are professionals, we can do it. If it wasn’t for that stupid sonofagun….. guy who does everything. Who gets everything, really everything! gets the wrong end of the stick. Besides, he doesn’t work efficiently and doesn’t express himself precisely. And anyway, his ties are the very worst … one could get upset there. Upset!
And the boss is an ass… what he allows himself! What tone does he actually use when talking to us? Not at all to me, no, more like the way he treats colleague xyz. And she doesn’t even notice. I could get upset. Excited!
Or that one customer who always, always, always has a dozen more questions before he doesn’t buy. Or does. Or rather not. Or he does, but he has one more question first …
Do you notice how you’re losing energy just reading this? Where does it go? Certainly not in the work and the result of the team, and you won’t get the job that way either.
Constellations like this have caused whole teams to implode and prevented large projects. Not because there was a technical problem or something important was missing. No, simply because the team didn’t seem to “get along”. Or the boss couldn’t work with the team, or the team couldn’t work with the boss.
And there seems to be absolutely nothing we can do about it!
Sure, there are training sessions that show us how to react and we can practice that a bit. We can bend, hide behind masks and force ourselves not to react. But how much life energy that consumes!
We can’t help it if people keep putting such morons in our team. And then we have to work with them. That CAN’T work.
What is really happening here?
Seen from the outside? What’s going on here?
Is the colleague’s funny tie really a problem? Is the boss’s treatment of colleague xyz really our business? Is the colleague really working inefficiently and do we have to be interested at all? Is that the case?
Is the customer with all the questions really a pain in the neck? Or is that just what comes across to us?
Why does this trigger us so much?
And with this question we are already at the solution. With the question: “Why does this trigger US so much? It’s like a switch that we have inside us and certain people seem to know it. And they keep pressing it and every time we blow up. Like the „HB Männchen“. Except that a cigarette doesn’t help us at all.
This switch is the crux of the matter. Where does it come from and why is it there? Figuring out is the way to the solution. The causes of these switches, which are nothing more than automatic reaction patterns, often lie very deep. And they lie on levels that rarely have anything to do with our current everyday life.
They lie in our childhood, often even in our ancestral lineage or even in previous incarnations. Which is why it is so difficult to find them. Because first of all we have to recognise that these switches exist and that it is not the other person who is “to blame”. Then we have to go in search of them and that practically always leads us to levels that we can hardly reach on our own.
To places that we often don’t want to see in ourselves because they hurt. Because they are exhausting. Because they lie in the dark. Often for so long that we can’t even consciously remember them. In the end, it is the path to ourselves that we have to take. But it is worth it, this path. It is worth it.
When are you going to leave?
All this can be solved. These trigger points can be found and dissolved. Often there are various layers of conditioning, automatic behavior patterns and destructive beliefs that separate you from yourself and your true core.
They throw you out of your center again and again and make you vulnerable to all those people who consciously or unconsciously know how to push your buttons and make you lose control.
Changing this is a process in which I am happy to accompany you. We always start with the introductory session, then we see where the path leads and how we can walk it together.